No, the banging I hear is not my headboard.

Since the beginning of November I have been suffering terrible headaches. It all started with an ear infection and what I believed to be a sinus headache. 2 weeks later my ears were healed and my head was still pounding. It was so severe that I would walk somewhere and by the time I got there my head would be pounding so badly I would have to stop and either sit or stand still for a few moments to gain my composure before moving on. I was also suffering major nausea. I went to see my doctor, Dr B, and he prescribed some painkillers and anti nausea meds, diagnosing me with tension headaches. He told me to try and relax and to watch my posture and ergonomics and come back if I did not feel better. Well, after that weekend my heart started going bonkers! I was having what I felt was like panic attacks. I would feel my heart racing and a rapid pulse in my neck. My pulse would be ~100 standing still. So I went back to the Dr that following Monday. I saw the Dr on call, Dr V, because Dr B is VERY popular! Dr V performed an EKG and didn't see anything. He ordered a Holter Monitor, which is a portable EKG, to see if any of my palpitations and rapid heart rate episodes would be picked up. I was hoping to see Dr B to get my results however with the holidays coming up I could only get into see Dr V before Christmas and with my headaches still bothering me I took what I could get.

Up until that point I was very happy with Dr V. I thought that he was VERY thorough and nice, he looked me in the eye and covered all the bases. He refused to take blood, as he didn't see a need. Which personally I thought was weird, but I am not a Dr what do I know. I went into the appointment and heard the results that there were weren't any irregularities that lined up with what I was feeling and the irregularities that were there were completely normal for a person of my age and "shape".

I told Dr. V that I was still having my headaches and then the whole appointment spiralled out of control. The man that I felt was informative was suddenly bombarding me with information about migraine medications and preventives and rescue meds. Did I have migraines? I thought it was tension headaches. Aren't we going to try something else before these anti seizure meds? I am not this person! When did I become this person? How did I get here? Can't we look at my blood maybe something is going on there? look there, please look! Look at these side effects... tingling in my fingers and toes, disorientation, confusion, memory loss, mental or physical slowing or delays, drowsiness, dizziness, loss of appetite (hey that may be a plus), chest pain, stopping of sweating, depression, irritability, mood swings, dry mouth, sore throat.... can any of this be safe? I walked out of that office feeling so lost. I cried the whole way home. I got home and collapsed into Josh's arms and I didn't know what to do.

The next day I went to work and talked to the resident headache expert. A woman who has suffered migraines for 7-10 years. We had a long talk in which she made me feel better about the rescue med Zomig (which to turn geeky on you for a minute is a GPCR which is the type of drug I would work on in my daily job) which she is on and she loves. She has heard mixed reviews about the Topamax. Mainly she has heard that it makes you dumb and skinny and is known as the California headache med. After talking to her. I resigned that I would try the meds and see what happened.

Needless to say I was scared to death to take any of it. I didn't want to become this disorientated person who couldn't function in day to day life. I wanted to be as close to myself as possible. I had a terrible headache the day that I got the prescription fill but refused to take the rescue med because I was scared. The one sided effect they told you about was that there was tightness in your chest after you took it. So I went home and took the preventative before bed and slept restlessly that night. I was so afraid of how I was going to wake up. To be honest I noticed a difference first thing in the morning. I could tell it was like a fog moved in. I proceeded to take the meds. Then on Christmas Eve I got a killer headache. It was finally time to give in and take the rescue med. It is the weirdest feeling. It didn't feel like someone sitting on your chest like they said that it would feel. It honestly feels like all of the blood vessels in your head and neck are contracted (that is because they are) and then it all stops, the pain everything. You are left with a little tingling throughout that area and then you are done! You are tired, but I cannot tell if it is from the Topamax or the Zomig (the rescue).

Everything was going OK until I had to up my dose to 50 mg of the Topamx so 25 mg twice daily once in the morning and once at night. Man was I high as a kite. I could not function at all. I would get distracted in the middle of doing something to do another thing and get distracted with that and so on until I had 4 or 5 things started and nothing finished. Finally New Year's Eve I called my Dr B and told him that there was no way that I could live like this. I couldn't eat. I was hardly sleeping through the nights. I had no will to do anything. Every task I tackled seemed daunting and impossible. So much so that I didn't even want to start. I couldn't drive for at least 6 hours until the "high" wore off. He immediately took me off that drug and put me on Amitriptyline. I am on my second day of that. I feel normal. Well as normal as I have felt in 2 1/2 months. Dr B also yelled at me to take my Zomig when I had head pain. It didn't have to progress into a full blown headache before I took it the pain was enough. I am starting to see what is causing my headaches. For instance I am a clencher. When I sit and do anything my jaw is usually clenched shut. I need to learn to stop that. I will just keep watching to see when I notice other things.

Chicago

Here are some Pictures from our day in Chicago

This is the U505 at The Museum of Science and Industry

Josh with one of the pistons from the U505

View of the Sears Tower from our hotel room

A view of the street from our hotel room

A New Attitude

I decided that it was time that I redesigned. Maybe this change in design will give me a change in attitude towards posting here. It isn't that I don't like to post or that I don't like to write. Sometimes it feels like a burden. Pressure to come up with something that is funny or witty. A story that someone will relate to. It is spring, a time for new beginnings. Here is mine.

I would like to make a few comments on the changes. I have stopped reading almost all the blogs that I used to have linked. I am going to work on keeping the links current to what I am reading now. So keep an eye out on that.

If you are a soap fan the Early Edition and Genoa City News sites are GREAT! These sites through some sort of magic are able to get tomorrows episodes of DOOL and Y&R (the Newsbrief) early. So if you don't want to tape the episodes and still keep up on what is happening in Salem and Genoa City you can. These are two of my must read blogs every lunch! So check them out!

Let's Go, Vertigo

A little more than a month ago my husband suggested we take a trip out of town. Since I had instructed him to take off the weekend after my birthday I suggested that we go somewhere that weekend. After many decision changes we decided to go to Chicago. I found a hotel near Michigan Ave that was reasonable and close to things so that we could walk or take a cab wherever we wanted to go.

Friday morning we get up and out of the house by 9 so that we can make it to The Windy City around noon. After a short stop to catch a bite to eat we arrive at The Museum of Science and Industry. Since it is the off season we had until 4 to look around and take it all in. After our very interesting walk through the museum we headed out to our hotel. With relatively no problems we arrive in the parking ramp and haul our stuff into the hotel. I was absolutely exhausted, that walk through the museum was a real test of my strength as it was the longest walk that I have taken since my surgery. We decided to rest a little while before heading out to eat. Josh had his heart set on going to Giordono's for pizza, he looked up the nearest establishment while I rested. After resting for a little while I got up to go to the bathroom and the world started to spin. Not long after that I started to vomit and have bouts of diarrhea. My insurance company like so many others have a Nurse On Call Line. I called them and there advice was "you are in shock. Hang up the phone and dial 911." I explained to the woman that I was not taking an ambulance but I would take a cab to the nearest hospital. Josh and I spent 6 hours at Northwestern Memorial Hospital. I wasn't nauseated or dizzy by the time I was seen. I was pumped full of liquids given anti-nausea medications and sent back to the hotel saying that a virus was causing my illness.

Having felt fine I expected our to be tired the next day but head out to some museums. I was sadly mistaken. I awoke to a spinning room. I have never had Vertigo before. I wish to never have it again. Needless to say I told Josh to pack up we were going home. I was feeling worse and the dizziness was getting really out of hand. I couldn't handle it any longer so I again called a nurse hotline (this time my Dr's) and was told to go to an emergency room as they had the neurological capabilities that a Urgent Care Facility didn't. This time I spent my evening at Meriter Hospital in Madison. Now anyone who lives near Madison knows that this past weekend was the big Mifflin Street Block Party. We waited patiently while belligerent drunks were hauled in. We heard them yell and curse, treating the staff that was there to help them very poorly. I waited only 90 minutes to be seen. The doctor gave me something to ease the nausea and the dizziness citing a virus was to blame. I was sent home to rest and drink plenty of fluids.

Now I stopped vomiting on Saturday and the diarrhea went away by Sunday night or Monday AM. The dizziness has stayed. Monday and Tuesday were spent on the couch. On Tuesday I could watch the TV without feeling nauseated. I have been unable to concentrate on things, read or type. Today I said I am the best I have been in days I am going to work. Work proved to be a difficult task. I was frustrated and called my clinic and said "I HAVE TO SEE SOMEONE!" I feel high, spaced out not good conditions to drive with. I finally saw someone who eased my mind. No one at either Hospital explained things to me, no one told me that the dizziness could and would stick around longer than other symptoms. I was told I have labrynthitis. I should be back to normal by the end of the week. If not I was told to come back. For the first time in almost a week I relaxed. I knew that the end was near. If it wasn't I knew what to do next.

I don't expect to return to Chicago any time soon. I expect someday we will look back and laugh, but now we are disappointed and sad that we lost our time together. We instead strengthened our relationship in another way. Josh's visits to the hospital were rare before we met. Now he is learning not to be so scared and learning that it is ok to be scared for the one that you love.