Waiting is the Hardest Part

OK I know that it has been 3 months since I have written anything. However, this is going to be the venue where I post baby pictures and daily updates too. We are in the overdue waiting game. Which is just feeding into the feelings of this isn't really happening. I used to go sit in the nursery all excited and anxious. Now I don't even hardly look in there. It is just another reminder of my occupied uterus. Not that the kicking, rolling and discomfort make me forget.

The other thing is that I think that my body is getting ready but just slowly. I lost the plug, I have been having mild contractions since Friday, I am dilated to 3 and 50% effaced. Just kick into gear already. You can do this on your own!!!

If this happens tomorrow, I will have escaped the shallow November ugly birthstone. Now the baby won't have it's own day. If I wait until Wed AM to have it Josh won't have much time home with us after birth. We thought that we were doing this Friday so he was off accordingly. He HAS to work on Monday because his boss is going to the Packer Game. But that doesn't give us very much time home together afterwards.....

I am just miserable here and bitchy!

Human Punching Bag

Early in my pregnancy I waited and waited to feel the baby move. Not sure what it was going to feel like. Each little gas bubble was "Oh was that a kick? Was that movement?" Now it has become so deliberate and I can pretty much feel the baby moving every day. Especially after meals. Everything I read says this is a magical time and you will feel like you are bonding with your baby. I haven't quite felt that yet. I cannot get over what an odd sensation it is. Just to be lying on the couch and feel your stomach moving. Granted I have gotten used to it and this is MUCH better than throwing up. It is just weird!

The exciting thing is that Josh can now feel it on a regular basis and that helps him to feel a connection to the baby. He felt the baby for the first time 3 or 4 weeks ago. It felt like little fluttery movements to him because the movements were small. One night last week we were laying on the couch together and Josh had his hand on my stomach and he got drilled with a kick or punch. The look on his face was priceless. He could believe that really strong movement was the baby. I had to confirm it for him. Now those movements happen regularly and he can just put his hand on my stomach and hang out with the baby too.

Radio Silence

This last month has been full of preparations which has whittled into my blogging time. Yes, I have spent a lot of time online however, it was looking and researching baby stuff. My dilemma started with the travel system. I knew that I wanted a matching car seat and stroller. That wasn't the hard part. The hard part was finding a unisex one that is reasonably priced AND soft and comfy. My mom and I spent an afternoon at Babies R' Us and Baby Depot. I had it narrowed down to what brand I wanted, it was just a matter of picking it out. We met a nice couple between the 2 stores and they really narrowed it down to 1 for us. I am not sure if that is what they chose, but it is what I did!

Then came the crib bedding. What a nightmare. It is virtually impossible to find a TRULY unisex crib set. Especially without characters like Winnie the Pooh. I am NOT a Pooh fan at all! The shows are fine but, I think Pooh is WAY over done. I scoured the internet. I think I have looked every set of crib bedding currently made! I finally decided on a mix and match set from Target. When my sister was in town she, my mom and I went to pick up. There are 2 different sheets that you can get. Well they are closing out the sheets that I liked. So I have scoured the Targets of Madison and had to find them on ebay. The matching window treaments are also unavailable so I had to buy an extra sheet so that we could make a window treatment.

Lastly, the crib! There are TOO many crib choices out there! First you have to decide finish. Then if you want covertable or not. If you want to be coordinated you have to make sure it has a matching dresser or changer if you want it. Me I knew that I wanted a changer/dresser combo. I think that I will want to have changer but, I am not committed to that idea enough to purchase a separate piece of furniture. Eventually, I found a set that I liked in a color that I liked that was seemingly sturdy, There weren't any reviews for it online. It didn't scratch too easily and was a reasonable price. Which is all that I was asking for, which was apparently too much! Oh and by the way if you are a person who is contemplating having children in the future it takes 12-16 weeks to get a crib. So try not to wait until your 26th week to decide on something. You may be waiting until dangerously close to your due date for it to come in!

So that is what I have been doing for a month... I think all of the BIG decisions have been made. Now it should be smoother sailing and easier decisions.... Let's hope. Now we need to move onto daycare! I am not even sure what this parenting gig will hold and I am sure I will have a much different attitude about who cares for my child after s/he is born. How do I know what to ask now??!?!?!

All the stuff

So we are officially over halfway there. I am starting to really get excited. I want to start registering and get all that fun stuff done. I have spent many evenings over the past few weeks cruising the internet and finding things that I like a lot. Then I check with Josh to see what he thinks. We have looked around Target and Babies R' Us. It is all so overwhelming!!! Plus it is very difficult for me to find something that I like.

We do have some favorites at the moment. I have a car seat and stroller combo picked out. HOwever, I am not sold on it. I have a back up that is colored similarly in case the one I like disappears from the market while I remain undecided. We have gone around and around on bedding. I have a crib and changer/dresser combo picked out that I like. Luckily they come in many finishes as I am not sure what I want it to be right now.

As I write this I have been surfing more things and becoming more undecided. I am off to bed with visions of car seats and breast pumps dancing in my head....

19 and 20 Weeks

19 Week Update
Your baby weighs about 8 1/2 ounces, and measures 6 inches, head to bottom — about the size of a large heirloom tomato. The hair on her scalp is sprouting. This is a crucial time for sensory development: Your baby's brain is designating specialized areas for smell, taste, hearing, vision, and touch. Some research suggests that she may be able to hear your voice now, so don't be shy about reading aloud, taking to her, or singing a happy tune if the mood strikes you.


20 Week Update
You're at the halfway mark — congratulations! Your baby weighs about 10 1/2 ounces now. He's also around 6 1/2 inches long from head to bottom and about 10 inches from head to heel — the length of a banana. (The way your baby is measured changes now.) He's swallowing more these days, which is good practice for his digestive system. He's also producing meconium, a black, sticky by-product of digestion. This gooey substance will accumulate in his bowels, and you'll see it in his first soiled diaper (although some babies pass meconium in the womb or during delivery).

Catch-Up

The last month has been nuts. I have been crazy busy with work. Now that Q2 is over I hope I can be more relaxed. I have noticed quite a few changes recently.

1) NOTHING fits me anymore. I have to wear all of my longer shirts, I have switched to my maternity work pants and only have a couple pairs of shorts that fit. I did put on my maternity jean shorts yesterday and was incredibly comfortable. I clung to to wearing my regular pants for such a long time. I am not sure why because I am MUCH more comfortable in the maternity pants. Plus you don't have to mess with buttons when you have to pee like a race horse.

2) My stomach is getting bigger. Of course if stuff doesn't fit you would think that I would have noticed a change. I wasn't ready however for the noticeable change. Sure it mat not be noticeable to everyone, but it is too me. It isn't even the lower part where the baby is. It is more my uterus is pushing my stomach fat upwards in my stomach.

3) Gasiness in my stomach, I am not sure if these are baby movements or the increase gas that happens with pregnancy. I hope that they are but I cannot notice a pattern to determine if it is really the baby moving or not. I just cannot wait for Josh to be able to feel it. He is so excited and just needs something to make him feel more connected to the baby.

That is all that I can think of for now. I will be trying to write more since my life should be less stressful.

17 and 18 Weeks

I know I am awful. I have been so insane at work I want to do nothing when I get home. That is now over. Give me a day to relax and I will update you shortly... in the meantime here is what Lil J has been up to the past 2 weeks.

17 weeks
Your baby's skeleton is changing from soft cartilage to bone, and the umbilical cord — her lifeline to the placenta — is growing stronger and thicker. Your baby weighs 5 ounces now (about as much as a turnip), and she's around 5 inches long from head to bottom. She can move her joints, and her sweat glands are starting to develop.

18 weeks
Head to rump, your baby is approximately 5 1/2 inches long (about the length of a bell pepper) and weighs almost 7 ounces. He's busy flexing his arms and legs — movements that you'll start noticing more and more in the weeks ahead. If you're having a girl, her uterus and fallopian tubes are formed and in place. If you're having a boy, his genitals are noticeable now, although he may hide them from you during an ultrasound.

16 Weeks

Get ready for a growth spurt. In the next few weeks, your baby will double his weight and add inches to his length. Right now, he's about the size of an avocado: 4 1/2 inches long (head to rump) and 3 1/2 ounces. His legs are much more developed, his head is more erect than it has been, and his eyes have moved closer to the front of his head. His ears are close to their final position, too. The patterning of his scalp has begun, though his locks aren't recognizable yet. He's even started growing toenails. And there's a lot happening inside as well. For example, his heart is now pumping about 25 quarts of blood each day, and this amount will continue to increase as your baby continues to develop.

My dryer must be broken......

This week I feel like everything that I put on has been shrunk on high in the dryer. It was especially bad Tuesday. I was wearing my super comfy size too big pants I got from my friend Pam when she was cleaning out her closet. I paired that with a tank top and a short sleeved sweater. I was tugging and pulling at my tank top and sweater ALL day. I just felt like my belly was showing. Even though it wasn't. It is definitely not pleasant to be feeling that way all day. I am clinging to my work dress pants right now. I haven't made the switch into my preggo pants. I have a couple pairs of capris that I can still fit into relatively comfortably. I think that actually needing those pants puts a level of realism to this that I am not sure that I am ready for.

It has all been sudden this week. I have really started to notice an actual change in my body. I had to go up in width and cup on my bras. I am going to have to special order them all soon. Josh told me so sweetly the other day that he thought that my "gut" was getting bigger. He also combated my "I think I am getting fatter" with "You are not getting fat you are just expanding". Sweet but he needs to be careful. He is lucky that I haven't actually been that hormonal. I think CRAZY hormonal Jess would have castrated him.

Other than that, not much new. I yacked this morning not sure why. Hoping that it is a fluke and not something I can expect to keep happening. I won't be worried unless it happens tomorrow too.

15 Weeks

Here is the update for 15 weeks. I will post more before the 16 week I PROMISE!!!!

Your growing baby now measures about 4 inches long, crown to rump, and weighs in at about 2 1/2 ounces (about the size of an apple). She's busy moving amniotic fluid through her nose and upper respiratory tract, which helps the primitive air sacs in her lungs begin to develop. Her legs are growing longer than her arms now, and she can move all of her joints and limbs. Although her eyelids are still fused shut, she can sense light. If you shine a flashlight at your tummy, for instance, she's likely to move away from the beam.

14 Weeks

I know I am late!! Sorry. Last week was a crazy one! It was a short/long week at work and I had some stuff to do to help get ready for the last graduation for our family for the next 19 years..... However, there has been no puking for a week and a half now! (knock on wood) I am super excited! I don't miss it one bit! I bought some new tops that can be worn all summer in preparation for the expansion of the belly.

Welcome to the second trimester! This week's big developments: Your baby can now squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his thumb. Thanks to brain impulses, his facial muscles are getting a workout as his tiny features form one expression after another. His kidneys are producing urine, which he releases into the amniotic fluid around him — a process he'll keep up until birth. He can grasp, too, and if you're having an ultrasound now, you may even catch him sucking his thumb. In other news: Your baby's stretching out. From head to bottom, he measures 3 1/2 inches — about the size of a lemon — and he weighs 1 1/2 ounces.

13 weeks

Fingerprints have formed on your baby's tiny fingertips, her veins and organs are clearly visible through her still-thin skin, and her body is starting to catch up with her head — which makes up just a third of her body size now. If you're having a girl, she now has more than 2 million eggs in her ovaries. Your baby is almost 3 inches long (the size of a medium shrimp) and weighs nearly an ounce. As you start your second trimester, most of your baby's critical development will be completed and your odds of miscarriage drop considerably.

Friday we went to the Dr for my 2nd appointment. The Dr didn't do much. Ask us how things were going and chat. He told me that if the nausea hasn't gone away by this Friday call and he will prescribe something. Since Thursday, I have had little nausea, knock wood, Friday was still rough and Saturday was bad too. But, Sunday and Monday were ok. I still have the food aversions and really stinky stuff and set me off. However, random nausea for the fun of it hasn't been an issue. Again, knock on wood.

Oh I almost for got the highlight. We got to hear the baby's heartbeat. That was really cool but things still aren't feeling real to me yet. I am not sure what it will take for it to. I had to go buy my first maternity pants. My work pants were really starting to get too tight. I was able to buy 3 pairs. This week it is off to Lane Bryant to find some summery flowy shirts that will be able to be worn until I am showing too much.

A Preggo Friend

For those of you who don't know my place of employment is in a baby boom. Of ~150 employees 16 babies were born last year. We are on track for 14 for this year including husbands. So there is a woman in our office that many have suspected is pregnant with number 2. She went out of town for ~3 weeks and we all speculated while she was away.

Well she was the first person I saw at work today and she came up and congratulated me. I looked down and congratulated her right back. She is a mere 10 days further along than I am. I am so excited! I have someone who is pretty much at the same stage. I was so jealous of all the women last year who were due within weeks of each other. They could talk about what they were going through and complain about their aches and pains. I wasn't sure I would have someone like that.

Oh by the way out of all the new moms at work only 1 of them threw up. The others were just nauseated, some pretty bad, but still 1??? Oh man! Maybe #2 will be better....... Oh wait... I have to make it through #1 first!!

12 weeks

The most dramatic development this week: Reflexes. Your baby's fingers will soon begin to open and close, his toes will curl, his eye muscles will clench, and his mouth will make sucking movements. In fact, if you prod your abdomen, your baby will squirm in response, although you won't be able to feel it. His intestines, which have grown so fast that they protrude into the umbilical cord, will start to move into his abdominal cavity about now, and his kidneys will begin excreting urine into his bladder. From crown to rump, your baby-to-be is just over two inches long (about the size of a lime) and weighs half an ounce.

Food for thought

Last night I had a rough one that made me ill all evening. It got me thinking about what the worst thing to throw up is. Since I have had the joy of doing so much of it lately. I will start:

1. Sweet and salty mix-Sunflower kernels pummeling you in the tonsils is not pleasant and leads to much more gagging due to small lodged kernels.

2. Egg salad-total texture nastiness

3. Graham crackers-too sweet smelling

4. Bile-no explanation needed

Go ahead and add the worst things you have experienced in the comments....

11 Weeks

Your baby, just over 1 1/2 inches long and about the size of a fig, is now almost fully formed. Her hands will soon open and close into fists, tiny tooth buds are beginning to appear under her gums, and some of her bones are beginning to harden. She's already busy kicking and stretching, and her tiny movements are so effortless they look like water ballet. These movements will become more frequent as her body grows and becomes more developed and functional. You won't feel your baby's acrobatics for another month or two — nor will you notice the hiccupping that may be happening now that her diaphragm is forming.

Stop Kissing Pigs!

I am taking a time out from discussing being pregnant to have a commentary on the "Swine Flu "Pandemic"". This is a time that being a scientist drives my annoyance with the over-hype in the media. I understand that the CDC and the government want to be cautious and closing down the schools is the safest thing to do. However, it just adds to the intensity of the situation and the mass hysteria that is occurring. Mass hysteria that we can't even determine if it is justified at the moment since there is only 1 death at the moment out of a growing number of confirmed cases. UPDATED: The seasonal flu kills 36,000 in the US yearly... hmmm

Just an indication of the complete ignorance in worrying here are results posted from the Harvard School of Public Health.

But that same Harvard poll shows that 17% of participants said they are avoiding Mexican restaurants or grocery stores and 13% said they thought you could get swine flu from eating pork. You can't get swine flu from eating pork or any other foods, and there is no reason to avoid Mexican restaurants or other businesses.

Let's educate the masses instead of scaring them!!

So today here is a good list I found on WebMd.com today

7 Reasons Not to Over Worry

After a solid week of scary headlines about swine flu, it's time to take a step back, take a deep breath, and regain perspective. Here are seven points to consider:

1. Most swine flu cases have been mild, so far. Severe cases have been seen mainly in Mexico, for reasons that aren't yet clear. But most swine flu patients have recovered without being hospitalized.

2. You're not defenseless against swine flu. Simple things -- washing your hands, not touching your mouth, eyes, or nose, and trying to avoid close contact with sick people -- can go a long way toward reducing your risk.

3. Most swine flu cases so far have been pretty much like normal, seasonal flu. Swine flu and seasonal flu share symptoms, and spread the same way.

4. How much do you worry about seasonal flu? Maybe you should give garden-variety flu a little more respect. In a typical U.S. flu season, an average of 36,000 people die of flu or flu complications, and about 200,000 people are hospitalized. Swine flu hasn't come anywhere close to that.

5. Swine flu's future is unknown. No one knows where swine flu is headed -- for better or for worse. "You don't know if it's going to fizzle out in a couple weeks or become more or less virulent or severe in the diseases it causes," CDC Acting Director Richard Besser, MD, said on April 29. "If we could see into the future [that] would be absolutely wonderful, but that's not the case. That's why we're being aggressive" in seeking to limit swine flu's impact on human health.

6. The world is more prepared than ever. Remember bird flu? When that was the "it" virus several years ago, the global health community ramped up its pandemic preparations. As a result of that work, "the world is better prepared for an influenza pandemic than at any time in history," WHO Director-General Margaret Chan said on April 29.

7. Pandemics aren't all deadly." If the World Health Organization declares swine flu a pandemic, that's all about the spread of the virus -- not the severity of the illness. In the past, some pandemics have been mild, while others have been severe, notes WHO spokesman Gregory Hartl, adding that "people should act with common sense, not with panic."

10 weeks

Although he's barely the size of a kumquat — a little over an inch or so long, crown to bottom — and weighs less than a quarter of an ounce, your baby now has completed the most critical portion of his development. This is the beginning of the so-called fetal period, a time when the tissues and organs in his body rapidly grow and mature. If you could take a peek inside your womb, you'd spot minute details, like tiny nails forming on fingers and toes (no more webbing) and peach-fuzz hair beginning to grow on tender skin.

I looked at the baby's size from last week to this week and it practically doubled in size. No WONDER I have been so completely exhausted?!?!? 2-3 more weeks of this "crap" and I should feel better. I am really looking forward to the 2nd trimester. I want to be able to get up in the morning for work like I used too....

This is New.....

So this week has had some interesting changes.

1. The exhaustion is back and in full force! Except however, when it comes time to sleep, I toss and turn. Which leads to getting up too late in the AM, late nights at work and more exhaustion.
2. Eating, I am SO hungry all the time. I am constantly snacking throughout the day. I literally cannot got 1 hour without shoving some sort of calories in my face. If it gets past an hour I get really hungry and nauseous and borderline gagging on air.
3. I hate the taste of water! I have to force down water. I have tried drinking kool-aid and caffeine free sodas, milk and juice but you still need 64-oz of fluids a day and I cannot drink that much of the above things. So, I choke down water.
   
4. Finally actual puking in the AM. Up until Sunday, I had vomited once in the AM. Starting Sunday it is happening pretty much every morning. I have found that a drink of water (maybe why I am hating the taste of it) goes a long way to throwing up something besides straight stomach acid. Monday I tried eating some graham crackers but those just came up too. Graham crackers 2 days in a row, well Sunday was Golden Grahams, equals no more eating them. My new routine is get up, drink some water, shower, get hair in towel, dry feet and legs, bend over toilet. At least I am getting used to it.
   
5. Gas, so this isn't new, but why don't they tell you that you will have gas so bad you put your husband to shame. A couple of weeks ago I woke both myself and Josh up by farting. Josh said he woke while saying "What the Fuck?" in his sleep. I just had to laugh, there was nothing else I can do. You want to know how bad it is? After dinner Saturday and cake Saturday and my family left. I was sitting in the kitchen with my brother in-law. I said man I have to fart. He told me to go ahead. I wowed even him, not by smell but by volume, sound and vibrating effects. He is a man who can clear a room instantly. That There really should be a disclaimer somewhere, VERY early in the pregnancy books to warn you and your spouse of this. It is NOT normal to have that much gas, NOT normal.
   

OK I am off to try and sleep. Let's see how that goes!

9 weeks

Your new resident is nearly an inch long — about the size of a grape — and weighs just a fraction of an ounce. She's starting to look more and more human. Her essential body parts are accounted for, though they'll go through plenty of fine-tuning in the coming months. Other changes abound: Your baby's heart finishes dividing into four chambers, and the valves start to form — as do her tiny teeth. The embryonic "tail" is completely gone. Your baby's organs, muscles, and nerves are kicking into gear. The external sex organs are there but won't be distinguishable as male or female for another few weeks.

First Prenatal Appointment

Today was my first prenatal visit with Dr Buss. My pre-appointment trip home did not go so well. Josh was cooking lunch when I got home. Scrambled eggs with peppers, onions, cheese and salsa. The smell hit me like a brick wall. I ran to the bathroom and lost my lunch. This was the worse episode yet. I had an egg salad sandwich for lunch (which I had been craving) and I had to relive it all. It was really not pleasant. I had been doing ok but I am tossing my cookies more frequently. Luckily not at work. I am not looking forward to that but, I feel like it will happen soon.

The appointment was very long, 2 hours from start to finish. The nurse went through all of our medical history. Then Dr Buss came in. He reviewed all of the information. Talked about nutrition, what is normal, when to call with problems, what medications are safe and a bunch of other stuff. He told me he wants me to eat healthy and only gain 10 lbs maximum. He is concerned that I will have a tough time with my joints if I gain too much. Plus if I eat healthy, I should be eating less crap and decreasing the fat content that I eat. Not that I eat all that much anymore.

It came time for the physical exam. Before I stripped I asked Dr Buss if we would be able to hear a heartbeat yet. I really wanted to hear it. He thought that it was too early yet. However, after I was in my sexy gown his nurse came in with the Doppler and they tried. They couldn't hear anything due to it being too soon. It was still nice of him to attempt it.

Then came the pelvic exam, for those of you women, this can be uncomfortable enough. I was just worried that Josh would be weirded out by another guy all up in my business. That isn't what was awkward, it was when Dr Buss asked him if he wanted to see my cervix. So Josh felt obliged to look. He got a guided tour of what to expect when looking inside the va-jay-jay. Then saw the pinhole that our baby will eventually come out. I shouldn't be worried about ruining any mystique around that area because, all will be lost when a baby comes screaming out of there.

Dr Buss said everything felt normal. He thought that the size of my uterus was inline with how far along I was which is validating. I go back May 22nd. I will be 13 weeks along. At the end of the first trimester and hopefully less nauseous. Plus we will definitely be able to hear a heartbeat!!!

8 Weeks

Today is the official start of my 8th week. I love getting the e-mails each Thursday that tells me what Lil' J is up to for the week:

Your baby is now 5/8 of an inch long, about the size of a kidney bean. New this week: Webbed fingers and toes are poking out from your baby's hands and feet, his eyelids practically cover his eyes, breathing tubes extend from his throat to the branches of his developing lungs, and his "tail" is just about gone. His arms have lengthened, too, and his hands are now flexed at the wrist and meet over his heart. His knee joints have formed, and his feet may be long enough to meet in front of his body. In his brain, nerve cells are branching out to connect with one another, forming primitive neural pathways.

If you click the links you can see the development and the above paragraph along with some other information.

Scared Stiff

I went to lunch with my boss and her new little baby boy Dylan. Who is absolutely adorable. When I came back from lunch I noticed that I was "spotting" It wasn't anything normal like I experienced previously. So I called the Dr's office to be sure. I hate to be one of those people. But it was pinky, red and that concerned me.

My Dr's nurse called back ~20 min later and asked me if my boobs still hurt (yes), if I still felt nauseous (yes), if I had any cramping with the blood (no) and if we had intercourse lately (no). She then told me to call back if the bleeding got worse or cramping ensued.

Within an hour the bleeding had stopped and I was much relieved. I am just so scared that his miracle we have waited so long for will be taken away! Not today people! Not today.

Toilet Training

Threw up tonight for just the second time. Finding that evenings are much worse than daytime. Something in the tummy is better but doesn't stop the wretching.. I can't stand puking! Plus Josh needs to get the Drop-In out of the toilet. The bleachy smell only makes the head in bowl effects worse.

IT REALLY HAPPENED!!!!!

2 weeks ago today I woke Josh up screaming when my stick turned to this:


The bottom is the one tested in the AM of March 27th and the top was tested in the PM on March 27th. I also peed in a cup at the Dr's office on March 28th and that was positive too.
Based on my LMP we should be expecting our Lil'J (our nickname since we won't find out the sex) around November 26th. We are SUPER excited and cannot believe that this is finally happening for us!

I am planning on recording everything that is going on here so that you all can keep up with how things are progressing! So please stop back to keep in touch!!